WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE IN EXTREME EMOTIONAL PAIN (part I)

TOUCH YOUR HEART MINISTRIES

"Touching Your Heart With the Love of God
Changing Your Life With The Word of God"-John 6:63

I was on my way to work this morning, my eyes flooded with tears and my heart broken in what felt like a thousand pieces. I had been crying most of the night and calling unto Jesus until sleep came. Once I woke up, my mind wasted no time in reminding me of the pain I was in before I fell asleep.





Once I got in my car, dropped my daughter off to her school bus stop and was on my way to work, I immediately began looking for comfort by way of ministry through a Christian radio station,1500 AM. Not knowing what to expect from the subject that might be in discussion, I turned the radio on, I noticed that my husband who had driven our vehicle home from church the night before had been listening to the cd player. Because he loves to worship while driving, I pushed play and turned the volume up. What I heard caused me to I break out in a loud sob as the music now coming from the radio was God's very plan to touch me with His own hands through CeCe Winans as she ministered the song from her Purified CD;

"He's Concerned about You"

So that you understand the impact it had on me and where I was at in my pain, some of her the words to this song go like this:

"God is, just a prayer away All you need to do is call He will hear, your faintest cry He’s concerned about you So while your tears are flowing through Your time of mourning He is here to lift your heavy heart 'Cause He’s in love with you ...



He knows He cares He sees He’s there And He’ll carry you He’s concerned about you..."

The Lord knew that I needed HIM and the Comforter touched my heart to let me know, I may feel weak and defeated, but HE's carrying me.

Extreme pain can come from many different sources such as an insult, betrayal, abuse, dangerous and terrifying events. Your natural reaction at that very moment is most likely to be out of your control, unless you've been practising self control for a while. source

The inability to convey your hurt, or having your hurt misunderstood by those around you tends to compound the pain.

Emotional pain stems from the way we were shaped, our mindset, our life experiences, how we were raised, low self-esteem, pride (which tries to cover insecurities), etc. One thing about emotional pain, it will be we will all feel it at some point and time in our lives, unfortunately there are those of us who feel they have had more than a lifetime's share of it.

Despite how bad it hurts, there is always something we can learn from it. Sometimes we miss the lesson because we are in such a hurry for the pain to stop. Remember even Jesus, though He was a Son, "learned" obedience from the things HE "suffered" (Hebrews 5:8 NKJV).




From The Contemporary English Versions:

7) God had the power to save Jesus from death. And while Jesus was on earth, he begged God with loud crying and tears to save him. He truly worshiped God, and God listened to his prayers. 8) Jesus is God's own Son, but still he had to suffer before he could learn what it really means to obey God.




The Message Bibles reads:


7-8) While he lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do.


The last thing I read last night before laying down was:

"Psalm 24:7Lift up your heads, O you gates!And be lifted up, you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in"

You know, try as I might, I couldn't lift the heaviness.

We have no power in and of ourselves to battle the things that are to big for us, we only have God's strength in our weakness which helps us get through the day, and helps us get through the pain. But the Word of God says in:


2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amplified Bible)

9 But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and [a]show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.

When we call on Jesus, all things are possible, for it is in HIS Word and by HIS BLOOD.



Many times we think that because we are saved, in a living, loving relationship with the LORD, that we are supposed escape the pain that comes with life. No one ever said that, we are supposed to do is lean on Father God, He is the Healer and He knows the whats, whys, and when pain is going to come our way. Sometimes, our pain is self-inflicted;



"How so you say?"

Well, I am glad you asked....

When we feel the gentle urging of Holy Spirit to tell us not to "go that way" or don't have a relationship with this person, or God tells us in HIS Word to "flee" certain things and not to have fellowship with a certain group of people, and we ignore those instructions, we often find ourselves in a place of consequences that involves...you guessed it! PAIN! That's not to say, that all pain is a result of our own actions. The death of a loved one, lay-offs (bad economy) which in turn can contribute to financial ruin oftentimes leads to depression. While the affected person withdraws, they're unaware of the effect it has on those around them. Anger, rejection, neglect etc are emotions that are very familiar to the loved ones of those suffering from emotional pain/depression.

Proverbs 15:13b (God's Word Translation) says:

'...but with a heartache comes depression.'

Emotional pain and depression tend to go hand in hand. While some are able to seek help, be it spiritually or professionally, others are consumed to the point of taking their own lives. The Bible says in Psalms 30:5b:
'...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.'

Contrary to the unwittingly dangerous advice many of us have given in our younger years, don't cry-suck it up-it's not that bad, it is ok to cry according to the Word of God. We do and should cry in our dark period, but we should also know that our time of sadness is temporary, as joy is soon to follow. Depending on the circumstances, joy'll come sooner for some than it will others-but the focal point is in knowing joy is coming!!

So what to do?
COMMUNICATE!! Scream, talk, shout, write it down-just communicate. At times, it's easier to tell a stranger about our personal struggles than it is to a family or friend. If that's true with you, seeking a counselor, pastor, or a Holy Spirit-filled Christian whose life bears fruit of the love of God is ok. You can even yell at God, He will never do you like people can do you because they may take offense. The Father doesn't take offense and HIS shoulders are big enough to handle you getting a good yell and cry out. The Word of God says "My God shall supply all your need... - Philippians 4:19
He is unlimited in ways to provide, comfort, teach and love us.

To be continued...

Resentment: Who's Really Hurting?

Resentment.

We may not use the word in our verbally, but how many times is it manifested in our actions and deeds?

Not sure if you've experienced resentment before?

What exactly is resentment?

Resentment defined:

• The excitement of passion which proceeds from a sense of wrong offered to ourselves, or to those who are connected with us;

• Anger - Resentment is synonymous with anger but expresses less than wrath,
  

exasperation and indignation;

• To perceive an injury or an offense; To take an injury deeply
  

****

Symptoms of Resentment (not an exhaustive list) are:

• (A) Anger - To strangle; vex; to strain or draw together; press; squeeze; make
  

narrow (to choke the life out of)

• (B) Indignant - Affected at once with anger and disdain; feeling the

mingled emotions of wrath and scorn or contempt, as when a person is exasperated at one

despised, or by a mean action, or by the charge of a dishonorable act;

Anger or extreme anger, mingled with contempt, disgust or abhorrence

• (C) Exasperation - Highly angered or irritated; provoked; enraged;

embittered; increased in violence; extreme degree of ange

• (D) Violence; or violent attitude - To assault; to injure; (to offend); moving or acting with physical strength;
  

urged or driven with force [as a violent wind]; moral force; vehement;

outrage; unjust force; hurt; produced or continued with force; not natural;

severe (extremely emotional and/or unreasonable)

• (E) Offended & Offensive - Displeased; anger or moderate anger; cause of stumbling; scandal; injury in relationship to offended;

Causing displeasure or some degree of anger; (rude behavior); giving pain

or unpleasant sensations; disagreeable; assailant, invading; making the first

attack; also offensiveness means the quality that offends or displeases

which manifests in emotionalism; rude manner of speaking; evil plotting;

and manipulative behavior

• (F) Unforgiveness - Refusing to release or overlook or pardon offenses
  

Keep in mind-the 'symptoms' of Resentment don't just appear out of the blue.

The symptoms are nurtured...babysat, if you will.

In our vulnerability we play over in our heads the scene (which includes the person who hurt us) continually.

Example:

Perhaps you were treated unfairly as a child or maybe your parent still shows bias against you. Instead of allowing God to heal you, which includes forgiving the erring parent-you hold onto the memories of mistreatment. When your siblings or another member of the family speaks highly of the offending parent, you're unable to do so because you have held onto the pain you've incurred by the hurtful parent.

The negative responses about the hurtful parent occurs on a regular basis. You are not happy about that parent's successes, and you're almost happy when an adverse situation happens upon your parent.

You are envious of the relationship the parent has with your siblings, and may have even wished ill-will upon the parent. What happens after a while (when the parent does not act the way YOU want them to) is direct your anger towards your siblings for having the relationship you wished you had with your parent. That resentment causes alienation between you and your siblings. You visit the family less frequently, because of the resentment you harbor. And because you are unable to express what and why you're feeling the way you do, confusion (arguments, accusations) ensues. Your visits to the family an family gatherings become infrequent and you hope someone takes notice. When the reaction of the family is not what YOU want it to be, you cut the family off.

That ripple is far reaching as it impacts the rest of the family.

Or...

There is a person at your church who is loved by everyone, let's call her 'Sadie.'

Sadie gets the attention from the pastor and other members of leadership, that you feel you're entitled to. You believe you have gifts and talents that are going unused, while Sadie is a part of every auxiliary. Although Sadie has not personally offended you-she speaks and hugs you every chance she gets- you will speak negatively of Sadie, whenever possible.

The longer you are 'ignored,' the angrier you become.

You become less sociable at church.

You leave immediately after service, instead of talking to church members as you formerly did. You sit at the rear of the church, now. You've isolated yourself.

Later, as time progresses and your gifts and talents haven't been utilized-your anger, jealousy, envy...RESENTMENT has now festered. Not only are you upset at Sadie (through no fault of her own), you are now angry with the pastor and members of leadership for not realizing your talents and giftings.

It is shortly thereafter, you decide to leave the church. You mull that decision over, and before you leave the church, you hope someone approaches you and asks about your happiness at the church, or maybe an elder will ride up to you on a beautiful white horse, apologize profusely for not having used you in church, kick Sadie to the curb, and you are appointed as the pastor's right hand person.

How did they ever go on without you??

Realistically, it is unrealistic to expect change to come when you refuse to change. In both examples above, the person with resentment did not communicate.

The communication needed was with Christ.

The attention needed is from Christ.

In the 10th Chapter of John, Christ describes himself as a door. Verse 9 says, '...by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.' In verse 10, Christ goes on to say He came to give us life. But not any kind of life. He came to give us a life of abundance. Our life should be filling and fulfilling.

Contrary to prosperity doctrine-money is not the way, but Christ IS. Money will not buy you out of depression. Money cannot bring a family together, but it can most certainly tear a family apart.

For those who long for a relationship with their parents, PRAY and ask God to help you FORGIVE your parents for not being the kind of parents you needed. And then ask God to HELP YOU to ACCEPT your parents as they are.

Psalms 27:10 says, 'When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.' Yes it's painful not having the love of a parent, but the LOVE OF God, transcends all love. Our parents CAN NEVER love us the way God can.

The 25th Psalms is a crying out to God.

the 18th stanza says:

"Look on my affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins."

David asked God to take note of his pain. But what did he ask for afterwards? He asked for forgiveness.

When our hearts are troubled, when we've been hurt by those we care about, pray unto God and ask him to 'look on' your affliction and your pain, but DON'T forget to ask for forgiveness.

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The same mercy and grace we ask our Father to have towards us, as Christians we are to have towards those who have hurt us. How many times have we disappointed God? How many times has He forgiven us?

Resentment ends when we choose to end it.

When we decide to let go of the hurt, bitterness, neglect etc and give it to God and leave it with Him, our lives will change. We may even see the parents who hurt us as fallible human, we may find out the sacrifices Sadie makes on behalf of the church, are not sacrifices we're willing to make.

How has resentment and bitterness helped you and your relationships?

How can God help you, and your relationships?

God bless you, sisters.

TOUCH YOUR HEART MINISTRIES
"Touching Your Heart With the Love of God
Changing Your Life With The Word of God"-John 6:63

I Am God's Gift Called, Gina

Women in Healing has been blessed by an amazing woman of God named, Gina. The tragedy experienced in her life, rivals that of Job-and she yet endures. Each week, Gina will bless us with powerful life lessons she's learned by being a student of the Most High God.

But he told me: "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So I will brag even more about my weaknesses in order that Christ's power will live in me. 2 Cor. 12:9 (God's Word Trans.)

These are my words:

I have so many reasons for writing this.

I'm not sure which 1 is most important.

In the past 3 months, my life has changed from the worse time to the best time.

From wanting to die to how can I live my life better.

I've gone from just knowing God, to craving to know more about God.

I've gone from being very angry with God, to forgiving and understanding Him.

I am not quite at 100% having forgiven him, but everyday is a better day, and I know it's all because of Him.

In the process of getting to know God, I've gotten to know and love the women in the bible study. I have learned more about myself and the Lord above than I have learned in my lifetime.

I am a raised Catholic, became a minister of service and realized I knew nothing about the Lord. I've never read the Bible and to be honest, I never wanted to read the Bible.

I had no idea what I was missing.

I went to Catholic school, stayed in Catholic Church, and became a minister of service because my father was a minister of service.

I am 48 years old, and I don't know who God is and what He stands for, how to love Him, nor how to live a life He wants me to live.

But THANKS to the women in my life now,

I'm learning, and loving every minute of it.

I am now reading the Bible...not always understanding what I'm reading, but I read and I read. I feel happier, freer, and more relaxed.

I know you have heard the saying:

'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'

Well ladies,

I SWEAT NOTHING!!

I mean NOTHING!

I really leave everything to God.

I know to my core that He will take care of whatever is wrong.

The devil had a hold on me for so long, and I thought that was the way to live...

until I met Women in Healing...until Women in Healing came into my life, and I learned that God is what is good and I need to stand up to what is in my way (Devil, move out of my way!!).

I say my prayers every morning, and I give praise to God.

I tell the devil to leave my house, my body, leave my thoughts, my work and my car-cuz I know he's all around me.

I want to thank the Women in Healing...for helping me heal.

-Gina

TOUCH YOUR HEART MINISTRIES
"Touching Your Heart With the Love of God
Changing Your Life With The Word of God"-John 6:63

TOUCH YOUR HEART MINISTRIES
"Touching Your Heart With the Love of God
Changing Your Life With The Word of God"-John 6:63

Let Jesus Get Down To The Root of Your Soul...

Trees are very important.
Like trees, we have branches and roots.
And without proper care, if we're mishandled, torn down or severely damaged like trees... what is left?
Nothing.
That's exactly what God wants of us, nothing of ourselves and built up by the Holy Spirit ( John 15:3).




My sister, what are your roots grounded in?

According to the website Answerbag.com, trees die due to various reasons-does any of these sound familiar? Note, this is not an exhaustive list (italics added by author):


1) environmental damage (look at your surroundings!)
2) diseases (hate, jealousy, envy, complacency etc.)
3) insects, animals & the damage they cause (hanger-ons, people who use and abuse you)
4) age (let the situation go! You've held onto it too long!)
5) chemical poisoning (alcohol, drugs-yes prescription drugs too!!)

Sister, why are YOU slowly dying?

Let Holy Ghost touch you.
Let Him cloak you in the love of Christ.

John 15: 2 says, "Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He ^[a]prunes it so that it may bear more fruit." (NASB)

Let God prune away the issues in your life.

What do you have to lose?

Well besides, depression, sorrow, heavy heart, baggage, worries, misery, enslaved mind, low self-worth, fear of failure, fear of success, loveless relationships, life spun out of control etc.

Loss doesn't seem too bad if it entails getting rid of the above, does it?

Like a tree, damage and disease from life isn't immediately obvious in us. But over the course of time, manifestation appears in our lives, doesn't it?
We:
Smile less.
Saddened more often.
Anger apparent.
Settle for less, when God wants us the best for us.
Commit idolatry in the name of love...loving the creation (money too), more than God.
Critical of others.

Allow yourself to be stripped by the Love of God.


Give God your burdens...He'll know what to do with them!!

Matthew 11: 30 says, "For My yoke is wholesome (useful, ^[a]good--not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne." (Amplified)

Sister- choose life, choose freedom...choose Christ.
I love you, but He so loves you more!

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